Random Notes from Henry at the Edge of the World

Greetings from the Liberty Bell (my name for the bus), this is Henry the self proclaimed MVP of the trip. I'm writing from the back of the bus seated in betweeen the Pootys (Pat and Adam) passing through Alabama sipping on a perfectly mixed Bloody Mary. This is my first post and I put together a random, somewhat incorehent, series of my thoughts.

ALABAMA:
I would first like to discuss the ways in which Alabama has dissappointed me. First the idiot subway girl didn't melt the cheese on my sandwich, mistake 1. Second, they charged Adam and I 20 cents each for empty cups, mistake 2. Lastly, the straw that broke the camels back was the 2 foot gummy snake. While a 2 ft gummy snake sounds unbelievable; the only flavors were cherry, green apple, and blue razberry (notice they arrogantly replaced the "sp"" with a "z", also not helping their cause) there was no strawberry. This last injustice was too much to bear. Mind you all of this occurred at the Oasis Pit Stop, so I apologize to the rest of Alabama for so few ruining the state. Maybe my expectations were too high, this being Forrest Gumps home state and all.

FRIED PICKLES:
While dining at Hooters last night I see on the menu "fried pckles", as you might imagine this boiled my blood with anger. I immiedelty was calling for the creator of fried pickles head, I was going to make him a hood ornament on the liberty bell. I couldn't believe the fat-ness of deep frying pickles? This was until I tried them... And realized fried pickles are actually a gift from Heaven. So instead of brutally murdering sed inventor I am nominating him supreme chancellor of the universe for heroics.

EDGE OF THE WORLD:
Last night after getting back from the bar I lead a charge to go swimming in the gulf. The loyal Tyler Brant and Tom Dooley were the only takers. This is a shame cuz it was one of the coolest things I ever did. Even thou it was 2 in the morning it was still about 80 degrees with a warm breeze and the crystal clear water was about 75 degrees, so it felt great. But the coolest part was the sky. There was no moon at all so the only light was from the city lights behind us. So where the horizon should have been it was pitch pitch black, couldn't tell where the water ended and the sky started. It really looked like we were at the edge of the world.

SOUTHERNS:
I am revoking the southern states right to tattoo themselves. Every idiot there had these stupid stars, crosses and tribal tattoos. This may in fact lead to a second succession, in which case I say let them go. The only thing that we need from them is Sonic and Waffle house. I know Luke is punching the wall while reading this since he couldnt be at Waffle House with us but I got the all star breakfast which was 2 eggs, hash browns, 2 sausages, toast, and a giant waffle all for a whooping $6. Mind you one time I got a chicken wrap and gatorade at the Hofstra deli for $11.

SWAMPS AND GATORS:
Every collection of water on the side of the road, no matter how small or large, Sean Lucas starts screamming to stop and starts screaming how he sees an alligator. Of course everything Sean believes to be a gator turns out to be a stick or log. I had a gator spotting shout out myself but it was in fact a duck... This was a devasting blow to my reputation.

Well we just got into Mississippi and I am hoping they do not commit the cardinal sins of a certain other state.

OVER AND OUT